don't leave
by chrlte
Summary: au where Kaworu watches Shinji go through a lot of life lines before finally showing himself again,, my first publishable porn so of course it had to be kawoshin, kind of a plot and tbh this wasn't supposed to be porn i said i would never publish porn i am ashamed but i hope you enjoy uwu


It was surprising. How free he felt as the keys danced beneath his fingers. He felt light and at ease, away from his troubles back at home and the stress of school. The miniature grand piano that sat in the local abandoned hotel, was emitting soft and light-hearted sounds as Shinji Ikari let his fingers move freely between the keys. A lot of buildings were abandoned nowadays and it was only natural for people to explore them. That's how Shinji convinced himself that his interest with the old piano and the architecture of the hotel was normal. Despite his overall anxious feelings about exploring, this old hotel felt calm and he could relax at ease when inside it. He didn't know why it just felt natural as he sat among the old and worn chairs and tables that used to hold many honoured guests, it felt natural to let his fingers dance over the keys repeating the soft tune his mother used to sing to him, the only tune he could play. He would repeat it till his fingers bled and his hair was stuck to his face due to sweat. He would repeat it at both slow and fast paces, sitting for hours repeating the same tune, sometimes putting more energy and heart into it than he thought possible.

Yet at this moment, his fingers lazily dragged over the keys and his breath was heavier than usual. As if he had been playing for hours although he had only been sat on the wobbly stool for around 5 minutes. Despite this he still felt at ease but there was slight discomfort due to the heat of the large room. It had to be at least 30 celsius but he also believed that he may have a fever. He was also suspicious of the lack of echo the room was creating, the soft tune usually echoed along the halls and it would take a few minutes for the echoes to fall silent.

'It's a little late to be at an abandoned hotel, don't you think?' Shinji almost jumped out of his seat at the strangers voice, and he was definitely to scared to look at the stranger. His voice being odd and even suggestive, the rhetorical question also catching him off guard as he struggled at the thought of whether to answer it or not. stuttering, and staring at his hands that now ceased to move he replied slowly and cautiously, 'well, um, it's nice?' He noticed his voice raise in pitch at the end and he let out a large breath of embarrassment. The stranger chuckled and Shinji heard footsteps as the stranger came closer, he could feel the strangers breath on his neck and he was sure he was bent over to purposely talk into his ear. 'A lot has changed since then, huh, Shinji-kun' Shinji took a large intake of breath and started shaking out of fear, how did the stranger know his name? 'I'm tired, Shinji-kun. Yet you no longer are a pilot, we've come too far forward. Now it's simple, you don't need me. Yet I still see you in each of your life times and after a certain point I had to leave you be, yet-' the stranger stopped talking and sighed, his breath causing goose bumps to rise on Shinji's neck and he shivered, and as he was about to ask all the questions that were currently swirling round his head, the stranger continued, 'yet, you still remember that song each time, there are different excuses to how you remember it in each of your life-lines, yet that tune was what made our last interaction special, and as the light that shined in your eyes in front of me and your last bit of hope went out I still saw a bright future within you. I saw no hope yet I saw a whole life, and it saddens me to know the last time you saw me was due to my pitiful death, and it saddens me to know that you blamed yourself, yet after seven hundred and sixty two years I still feel the need to protect you and to love you.' Shinji started shaking, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks as he held his mouth to avoid crying out, he didn't know why this story was affecting him, the stranger was mad, crazy, he didn't know the guy. Although Shinji couldn't control himself as the tears started to pour down his cheeks.

The stranger sighed once more into Shinji's ear till continuing, 'I can't believe myself Shinji-kun, I still love you'. The stranger started laughing, it was unsettling as it sounded dry and empty, wounded. Shinji felt his shoulder weigh down as the stranger placed his head onto his shoulder, he could see a mess of white hair in the corner of his vision and the laughs grew quieter as Shinji's coat dampened with tears. Shinji could no longer control the tears as they fell down his face, he didn't understand what was going on, the tears fell yet his mind was confused and slightly disgusted, although his instincts were to comfort the boy and hold him, him, he, his name... Kaworu. His name was, no, is, Kaworu. Kaworu.

Kaworu. That _is_ his name. He wanted to say it. To hear it. To feel it on his own tongue. '..Ka-Kaworu' he stuttered it out, unsure yet certain, the boy stopped moving. His breaths slowed and Shinji felt numb. 'Kaworu' The tears had slowed and he said it again, more certain. This time he jumped up out of his seat, knocking the boy leaning on his shoulder upwards and he screamed the name, tasting it on his tongue over and over again, 'KAWORU'. Shinji smiled, and balled his fists, smiling at the ground as he whispered it one more time before turning towards the shocked looking boy behind him. He was shocked but grinning, His red eyes wide and welcoming, his hair ruffled, his cheeks stained with tears, and his hand resting on his recently abused forehead. Shinji ran the few meters between them and tacked him to the ground. He laughed as he sobbed and tears dripped down his face and onto the stranger, 'I don't know you' He laughed it in a sympathetic way, 'But I know your name, and I don't know why but-' He laughed as he leant forward, he was straddling Kaworu, and he rested his forehead against him. '-but I think I love you', he laughed again, 'Why is my brain telling me that I love you Kaworu' This time he was scared and his voice shaked slightly. 'Why do I love you? Why do I know your name? how do you know my name? Life lines? Seven hundred and-' Shinji was cut off as Kaworu pushed himself up and with his now free hands grabbed Shinji's face and pulled him forward, interrupting from both his sentence and his point altogether.

Their lips moulded together. It was a strange feeling but it was pleasant and comforting, calming. Shinji tasted salt as the tears continued to fall down his face although Kaworu had stopped crying. Shinji tried to pull away yet was only pulled back into a less-innocent kiss than before. Kaworu was upright as one of his knees was bent upwards, he was leaning on his elbow and using the other arm to pull the back of Shinji's head closer into the kiss. Shinji was now straddling Kaworus lap and he was bent over, hands gripping onto Kaworu to keep himself conscious as he felt light headed and dizzy. Yet as Kaworu's tongue experimentally stroked the inside of Shinji's defenceless mouth he couldn't help but moan. Although Shinji reacted to this and pulled back holding his mouth as he looked away from Kaworu's gaze. 'You're beautiful', Shinji only blushed more and Kaworu removed Shinji from his lap only to crawl on top of Shinji, who was now laid out underneath Kaworu yet still covering his mouth timidly. Kaworu then smiled softly before grabbing Shinji's hands and placing them above Shinji's head, he held them down with one hand and used the other to trace circles on Shinji's now exposed stomach. Shinji looked away and could only jump as he felt Kaworu's mouth lightly kiss his collar bone and neck, he started to mouth and tease at the exposed skin leaving Shinji shaking and holding in moans as he was limited to nothing but his mouth to muffle them. 'Ka-Kaworu' This stutter was different to earlier and Kaworu removed himself from the crook of Shinji's now-bruised neck to see a flusted boy with half lidded eyes and an open, panting mouth. Kaworu only smiled at the reaction despite himself also being pretty flusted, although his strange complexion didn't usually show those types of emotions. 'Please', Shinji was embarrassed to say this, he knew he was needy yet he never thought he would be begging a stranger who he happened to know the name of to, relieve? him of his, pleasures? Shinji blushed slightly at the thought, he knew he wasn't really using logic, but as soon as Kaworu's lips joined his he was blank, completely numb, he was out of control and his body was reacting for him. However Kaworu still was looking at him with love and respect despite himself acting so, crude, especially for their first? meeting? However his train of thought was lost as Kaworu mouthed his jeans that rested over his bulge. He was starting to feel constricted and felt the urge to just strip and get it over with, but he knew that wouldn't be the right approach so he let Kaworu take the lead. As obviously, Shinji hasn't really been in this situation before, yet Kaworu seemed to have been. That or he really has been waiting, was that what he said?

Kaworu's voice brought him out of his train of thoughts, 'I'm sorry Shinji-kun I'm not quite sure what I'm doing right now so please excuse me and also let me know if I do make you feel uncomfortable', Shinji could only pant and he let out a little whine of which Kaworu took as approval. He slowly unzipped Shinji's trousers as well as quickly taking off his own, Shinji's shirt was already open so he managed to shuffle that off while still lying down in the very suggestive position, his arms above his head and his mouth open, panting slightly, his legs relaxed and his neck scattered with bruises. Kaworu however admired this lovingly and they now where both naked apart from the boxer shorts of which they both wore. However it wasn't for long as Kaworu slowly shuffled down towards Shinji's bulge and pulled out his shaft with one of his hands, Kaworu left kisses just above where his hemline of the boxers would be and made a small bruise beside his left hip bone as he nibbled on the skin gently, above him Shinji was moaning as Kaworu massaged his shaft gently, allowing his thumb to naturally brush against the tip a few times. Kaworu carried on pumping Shinji's shaft and mouthed at his tip, licking the precum off while sucking at the tip 'K-Kaworu please stop I feel, uh' Despite his pleading, Kaworu continued to rub Shinji's shaft yet he pulled Shinji up using his other arm and pulled Shinji into a deep kiss. Kaworu swallowed all of Shinji's moans using them as a sort a fuel to convince himself that what is happening is real. Shinji then threw his head back as a broken moan escaped his mouth, one Kaworu couldn't reach, and strings of the white liquid landed on Kaworu's bare chest. However that was the least of his worries. Shinji's lust driven face, a face of release and accomplishment was throwing Kaworu off guard, the face of someone who was extremely satisfied and happy. Shinji had a light smile on his face, his eyes half lidded and his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, his lips were lightly bruised and wet from the greedy kisses they stole from each-other and his cheeks were flushed in the most erotic way. The next words that came out of Shinji's mouth made Kaworu moan aloud.

'I-I'm sorry Kaworu, I made a mess', the moan however made Shinji panic more when he realised he hadn't allowed Kaworu to feel his release. 'Oh crap sorry Kaworu I-' He was cut off by Kawaoru's lips, this time the kiss was unusual as their mouths were shut yet it was the most enjoyable kiss Shinji had experienced so far, it was soft and comforting, yet still sensual ad mildly erotic as he embarrassedly tried to hide his yet again growing member. 'Don't worry Shinji-kun' Kaworu whispered against his lips and he went to yet again rub Shinji's shaft however Shinji Quickly stopped him before pulling Kaworu's member out of his boxes and rubbing it faster than Kaworu did Shinji's. 'ah-Sh-Shinji-kun' Kaworu's lips left the others and he panted slowly as Shinji worked his member, he leaned on Shinji's shoulder before getting the strength to grab hold of Shinji's shaft again and rub it, hard. It turned into a competition as both sped up their pace depending on the speed of the other. They ended up both kneeling on the floor, leaning on each-other's shoulders. A mass of limbs a pants and moan echoed in the large room, clothes discarded around themselves and with a mutual shout they both came, loud and hard. Shinji, who had now experienced two orgasms shaked in Kaworu's arms. 'Tha-That was nice' Shinji managed to pant out. Kaworu smiled into Shinji's neck as he tightened his grip around the smaller boy.

They were both naked and were now a mingled mass of limbs, sweat and cum. A single tear rolled down Kaworu's cheek. 'I waited so long Shinji-kun'. Shinji was silent, sleeping, limp in Kaworu's arms a Kaworu tightened his grip slightly in both a protective and loving manner. It was barely above a whisper and no echo was produced as Kaworu spoke, 'please don't leave'.


End file.
